Solitude Need Not Mean Loneliness

Recently, a friend of mine posted the following as her status on facebook:

making friends is hard. does anyone else feel this lonely? being self employed and living in rural America where you are most likely the odd ball in the community = set up for zero people who I don't relate to...

This friend of mine and her husband are organic farmers in Iowa.  They also are producers in a CSA, and run a business called Farmtable Procurement, wherein they help consumers find local and regional food for their events, such as weddings, conferences, meetings, etc. Talk about diversifying your income sources, but that is a different blog topic for a different day.


I really thought a lot about her post. She has been living in rural America longer than I have been. She is also one of the most outgoing people I know. I have always admired her strength of character and accepting attitude toward all different types of people. How could she be feeling so lonely?

Last night I attended "Wine Club," accepting the invitation from a young woman I work with to join the group for its second meeting. There were ten women there in total. Wine and food was sampled and shared over great conversation.

What left the greatest impression on me was how impassioned some of the other women were about living and working on a farm with their families.  Many of them had grown up on a farm and are now married and have young farm families of their own. As a newcomer to the area and the lifestyle, it was great for me to see.  Just the few hours of girl time brought me a new feeling of the connectedness between families, lifestyle, and land, and a connectedness to these other women who have already gone through a lifetime of experiences I am now going through for the first time.

When I got home, I saw the post above that my friend in Iowa had left on facebook.  Granted, I was still excited from my evening of fun and new friends, so her post expressed the opposite of how I was feeling at the time, but nevertheless it really struck me.  Regardless of how many farm activities we have going on, nothing can replace a strong group of friends.  Maybe my friend in Iowa needs to form a Wine Club.

It can be so easy to get busy doing our daily farm activities and overlook the need for companionship.  As a broad generalization, farm/country people tend to be very private individuals anyway, so it can be difficult to make ourselves bond with neighbors and potential friends.  Isn't a lifetime of quiet solitude part of the appeal of living in the country?  It's important to remember, however, that solitude need not mean perpetual loneliness.  We should cherish the peacefulness the country has to offer, and embrace relationships with others who value that same peacefulness and fullness of live; a lifetime pursuit.