A Woman's Place

 I am reflecting on a citation from one of my favorite books, America's Women: 400 Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates, and Heroines by Gail Collins.  If you haven't read this book, I strongly suggest you do. It is more or less a social history of women in the United States, up until about the 1960's.  It is filled with information about the daily lives of women-- what was important to them, and how they were important to society.  The citation I am thinking of refers to more recent history when women were no longer at home as much as they used to be:

"Neighborhoods missed the nonworking mothers who had time to raise money for the school or run the Brownie troop.  Suburban neighborhoods cleared out in the morning when parents went to work, and not many people had time for the kind of chats over coffee in someone's kitchen that once helped women form strong networks of friendship and support.  Now that women could be anything they wanted to be, the country suffered because not enough of them wanted to be teachers or nurses," (449).

The author asserts that communities are made stronger by women who have time to get involved, not only through employment in civically oriented professions such as teaching or nursing, but also through community building activities.  I had always thought I would be someone who would have a strong career and work out of the home, equally competing with men on the job.  After graduating from a highly competitive college-prep high school, and moving on to university where I graduated with Honors and a double major, I find I am questioning my former ideas of a successful career being most important, as was the consistent message of all of my schooling to-date.

Here, in my new rural community, I see how involved many are in their communities, and the entire town benefits.  It seems as though many women do not work full time or at all, but instead have more time to form strong relationships with each other. Or plan and organize a bridal shower for a young women who is about to marry into the community, for example.  Women make hand-stamped cards for all occasions that bring cheer to others. They visit the elders of the community in assisted living.  They help out their sick neighbor, even if they are busy with their own family.  Women meet regularly at local churches to make quilts to send to the needy.  There are many examples of community-mindedness.  One might ask, "How do people have time for things like this?" Perhaps the question should be, "How can you make more time for things like this?"

Several acquaintances, friends, and family members from my 'previous life' have scoffed at the idea of not working.  How could I give up all my dreams and ambitions and become a 'housewife?'  Truth be told, I struggle with the same idea.  Though I am looking for a part-time job at least, there is still a lot to be done and always something to do.  Sometimes the best thing to do benefits the whole community, rather than advances a career.  I wonder how my idea of success will continue to change as I become increasingly involved in the local community and form my own network of strong women, who may not at all be measured by their career success.