Thankful Thursday ~ Unexpected Changes

It has been a very long while since I have written a Thankful Thursday post. I've been giving too much space in my life to some old acquaintances-- Negativity and Self Doubt-- so it's time to renew focus and re-devote time back to gratitude.

This week, being the first week of summer break from school, I am thankful for exactly that-- a break. The end of the school year is always hectic, made even more so by the busy-ness that comes with coaching Track. On top of that, my job itself has been very stressful lately, leaving me feeling a bit dubious about the future of my off-farm occupation. All this has caused me to forget that I am in control of my response in any situation, and I've been a bit more reactionary and negative than necessary at times.

Recently, I found this blog post in my feed: The Three Second Pause... This was a post that I really connected with. I have been that person, just like the author describes herself, who makes too much of what are really inconsequential situations at the least. Sometimes, I've even twisted something around so completely in my mind that I can't see anything positive, even in a generous act of someone else. All of this is something I've been working on improving about myself for many, many years. Time to refocus on taking a three-second pause, or simply finding the good, and being grateful.

Yesterday, I was in a very minor car accident as someone backed into the side of my car at the Post Office. My plans of running errands and getting things done in Havre were instead shifted to visiting the auto body shop for a consultation and filing an insurance claim. It would have been really easy to react with anger, but what purpose would that serve? The party that hit me already felt really bad, and no one was hurt. My car sustained a few bumps, but nothing that can't be fixed. These things happen--that's why they're called accidents. Life goes on. I'm thankful that it wasn't anything worse. And, I'm super thankful for the woman who works at the auto body place because she was extremely helpful, kind, and friendly, which I told her as I shook her hand and left, smiles on both our faces. There are always was to find and spread joy, even in annoying or unfortunate situations. 

Later in the day yesterday, my coworker and I had to make some tough decisions about our jobs. Decisions that came about from the irresponsible, rash, and reckless actions of others.  It's frustrating that the ultimate purpose, or so we thought, of our jobs - serving children and community - is being disrupted, through no fault of our own. But I came away from the day feeling good. My coworker and I are a good team and I know we will find a way to continue to serve our students and community, even if it is through different means. I am overwhelmed by the positive support we received from the families we serve. I know we have made a positive impact, and I know we will continue to do so.

My future is uncertain. In fact, all of us are united in that uncertainty of not knowing what tomorrow will bring. We've all heard and been told that all we have is this moment, right now. It's just really easy to forget and be grateful. Even in tough times or moments of pause and change, there's always something to reflect on and be positive.

Here's what I'm grateful for today, in this moment. 

• A strong and supportive husband. Even as my job has been in flux lately, it has helped to have him to bounce ideas off of, or just vent. Plus, he always reminds me when I'm being too negative, or hard on myself. Reality check: everything is fine. 
• This farm. Our lifestyle as farmers makes it possible for me to have a little shift in my off-farm job, and let it not be too worrisome. It would be a lot more difficult to stay positive in my single days, when my income was all I had. 
• Open spaces. This goes along with the previous one, but I do truly love living out in the country and being able to see the sunrise or sunset every day over beautiful green wheat fields and pastures. I love being able to spend time with our animals, and to go for walks, hikes, and bike rides wherever I want. Open spaces, being outdoors, nature-- good for the soul!
• My health. I feel good. As I train for summer races, incorporating increasingly challenging workouts, I am constantly amazed at what I am capable of. I am powerful and strong, and I'm thankful for each chance I have to move. 
• Co-workers and Community. Every change brings about new possibilities. I'm so grateful to the people I work with and live with in this community. We support each other. It feels good to know that I have a home here.

There are many, many more things, of course, to be grateful for. I'm grateful for the half inch of rain that fell last night because it helps our crops and it also means I don't have to go outside right away and water the garden and the yard, as has been my typical morning chore lately. I'm thankful for a slow morning cup of coffee. I'm thankful for a cheerful husband! Farmers are happy when it rains. :)

Like all of you, I don't know what the future will bring. I do know that I am in control of my own destiny, and I choose my actions and behaviors. Today, I'm choosing to be grateful.