Thanksgiving for Family and Traditions Past and Present

The kick-off of the holiday season with yesterday's Thanksgiving gathering has got me reflecting on traditions and family.  Whether we are near or far from our nuclear families, holidays and traditions remind us of the bonds we share.  Jeff and I joined Tom and Carol as we rode into town to join the celebration of some friends-of-the-family of the Bangs bunch.  As we made the half-hour drive from our home to theirs, Tom on the phone with his sister, remarking it wasn't over the river or through the woods, and not to Grandma's house, but Go we did. 

Many of us have strong memories of Thanksgiving meals with family gathered around a table, jokes and stories passed along with mashed potatoes and stuffing.  Maybe you sat at The Kids Table- sometimes I think it would still be preferable to be at a card table in the back room.  The great feast may be representational of that the first settlers shared with our nation's first peoples, but it has transformed to symbolize family togetherness and the traditions we share and still carry on. 

My concept of nuclear family has expanded in the past few years.  Now that I am married, my family is my parents and brother I grew up with, and it also now includes my husband and his family, and extended family on both sides.  Family is also more than a collection of related individuals; it includes friends, too.  Furthermore, sometimes our friends may even be more desirable than our blood-family anyhow.  Maybe family is simply defined as those who accept you for who you are, for all the good and the flaws.  

As we gathered before the meal yesterday, we were read the traditional Thanksgiving prayer our host-family has used for years.  As the lines about family were read, I thought of the family gathering in Iowa I was not present for, and how it has changed over time.  Now, seldom do as many of my dad's siblings gather as used to.  The place is different, too.  We used to all come together at Grandma's house.  I have childhood memories of all the cousins playing Ghost in the Graveyard in the basement and being called up for dinner when it was ready.  Now that Grandma is in assisted living, the gathering meets in a family room at her residence.  Whoever is near and able attends.  Since I have been living in the West since 2007, I have never been present at either a Thanksgiving or Christmas gathering at Halcyon House, where Grandma now lives.  My parents and brother give me reports on what I missed, and I feel like I was there, too.  

In this exciting transitional time in my life, I think about traditions my family had and what to carry on.  There has been a lot of interesting discussion between me and Jeff comparing traditions of both our families.  Our gatherings change over time because our families themselves change.  How do we preserve traditions?  Isn't a tradition, by definition, something that remains unchanged, though our families are constantly changing?  

Traditions are something we do to honor and remember our families, near and far, past, present, and future.  It is up to each of us to decide what to preserve. That year we were served Squirrel for dinner-- well, let's just say it wasn't the start of a new tradition. Some traditions, like turkey at Thanksgiving, will always be around. We may not always be able to gather together, but wherever we are, the actions we take symbolize togetherness all the same, such as Carving a turkey, watching Christmas Vacation, and sharing stories of holidays past.